What the Bleep is Wrong with the Phillies?

I've been trying to start a research paper for the last half hour, assuming that a CC - Roy Halladay pitching match up would give me plenty of downtime because of a lack of base-runners. Well, 3 innings in, I have gotten nowhere on my paper, and Roy Halladay has struggled with way too many pitches against a team that he has historically dominated. Because most of my attention has been on the Flyers (and deservedly so), and pretending to care about the World Cup, I haven't gotten around to answering the many questions my friends have posed to me over the Phils' struggles.

Well, those of you who know me probably know that I am a bit obsessive and extremely demanding of my sports teams. I have zero patience with most players and only when you have earned my respect and trust do I grant any leeway. This is coming from a guy who hates Peter Forsberg, hated Daniel Briere until he showed me that his true talent lies in the playoffs, yelled at Ryan Howard to get out of Philadelphia when he struck out 3 times in one game in Washington, and of course hated Donovan McNabb. So either take this with a grain of salt or don't - these are my in-game reactions to what is becoming a daily question - What the heck is wrong with the Phillies?

(in no particular order)

1. No Jimmy. As Jimmy Rollins goes, so do the Phillies - yeah, yeah we've all heard that one. At this point, there is no excuse. I don't hear the players making excuses and I'm not sure I can watch a smug Ricky Bottalico say it after every loss as if he invented the saying. I don't expect the Phillies to suddenly lose every single ball game when day comes that Jimmy can't suit up at shortstop anymore. There is way too much talent on this team to rely on one man, even if that one man is the greatest shortstop in Phillies history and one of the best defensive shortstops in the history of Major League Baseball.

2. Roy Halladay. Yes, I believe that Roy Halladay is a problem. I am sure that I'll be taking this one back eventually, but "Doc" has not come here and done what we expected. The Phillies are playing their worst baseball in over 2 years and Doc has done nothing to change that. After the Phils won the World Series in '08 I realized that individual accomplishments only mean something to losers. That's why I don't care about his Perfect Game. It was nice (even though I barely saw any of it with Flyers-'Hawks Game 1 on) and definitely something he should be proud of for himself. At this point, I prefer Cliff Lee. Lee's nonchalance on the mound and his energy when he would dart from the dugout to the mound and then back again after the inning exemplified this team. Roy Halladay looks like he ate one too many Supremo Crunch's from Taco Bell on every pitch. Eyes scrunched up, grimacing, and never smiling - it doesn't look fun. To quote Benny the Jet, "Man, this is baseball. You gotta' stop thinking. Just... have fun."

Doc, this is my message to you - the reason that the Phillies succeed is because they are a group of hard workers, fun individuals, and a plethora of personalities. I know that Chase Utley doesn't smile, but it doesn't look like he's holding in a massive Number 2 either. Relax. Be friends with your teammates - it's a team.

3. Starting Pitching. I'm not terribly worried about Joe Blanton, he has always been a second-half pitcher. Cole Hamels has (statistically) bounced back a little bit. As long as he can get through moments such as his 16-pitch walk to Victor Martinez last Sunday and shut down teams after battles such as those, he should be alright. It's pretty astounding that Jamie Moyer has an ERA north of 5 when he's had 2 Complete Games. Scarily inconsistent eh? Kyle Kendrick is pitching pretty much how he should be expected to - if he can settle down to 6 innings and 3 runs I would take that in advance every single time. Can J.A. Happ come back to this team and be a savior?

3. Raul Ibanez. "I could go on forever baby!" - Home Alone 2. We'll see how many of my childhood favorites I end up referring to once this rant is over with. Raul Ibanez and Carlos Lee are locked in a mortal combat, fighting for the title of "Worst Outfielder in MLB." Lee's 19 million dollars may be 7 more than what Ibanez is making, but Ibanez also gets the nod of making Ruben Amaro Jr. look like a terrible GM. It's not fair to expect Ibanez to hit at the torrid pace that he started at last year, but 12 million dollars is a lot of money to pay to someone projected to hit barely 10 home runs. Every single Phillies game it seems that a few more fans have stopped cheering "RAAAUUUULLLL" every time the veteran steps to the plate. Watching the 38-year-old look like the rubber band man as he hobbles around the outfield is just painful at this point. It's time to cut our losses - drop Ibanez like we did with Adam Eaton and Geoff Jenkins. That way we can see what Dominic Brown has to offer, effectively showing the organization how hard they need to go after retaining Jayson Werth. (Nice 2-0 count, bases loaded ground out, Raul. Nice)

4. Shane Victorino. I know that he's not a prototypical leadoff hitter, but this is hard to watch. Shane doesn't look like he has had a game plan at the plate in over a month. While his free-swinging style leads to some unpredictable homeruns, it just doesn't translate to consistently getting on base. Try looking at a few pitches Shane. The point of a leadoff batter is to get on base.

5. The Bench. Greg Dobbs had his season to remember... although it's sort of getting hard to remember that a man hitting .163 once lead the league in pinch-hitting. Ross Gload is the same exact thing is Greg Dobbs - last year's pinch-hitting success story. Ben Francisco comes in for a pinch hit and seems to swing at the first pitch almost every single time. This is terrible baseball. For a man who is constantly talked about as "a starting outfielder for most teams," you would think that Ben would want to see a few pitches before flying out to center. Just a thought. Oh, and Juan Castro is really old.

6. Tom McCarthy. I miss the good ole days of T-Mac sitting in various empty outfield bleachers with sweat falling down his shiny head. Listening to this man's drone and congested laugh is worse than watching Seth Rogan's laugh on a loop. I never realized what a gem we had in Harry Kalas.

7. Chase Utley, I can't say anything bad about you. <3

How to Fix it? Here are a few bullet point ideas to shake up the team...
- As previously noted, drop Raul Ibanez and bring up Dominic Brown.
- Allow Jimmy Rollins to rest for as long as he needs. And when he says he's ready to come back, make him sit out another week (at least).
- Sit Chase Utley for a few games in a row, just like Charlie did with Jimmy last year.
- Tell Jayson Werth to get Roy Halladay really, super, extra drunk. Then he can open up with his teammates and have some nice inside jokes to share in the clubhouse.
- Trade Greg Dobbs or Ross Gload to another team with a struggling pinch-hitter. Can't hurt.
- Tell Ryan Howard to stop worrying so much about the shift and hit the weight room.
- I REPEAT: Release Raul Ibanez.


Just to reiterate - I know that I am sort of freaking out, and that hopefully I'll look back on this post in a few weeks and chuckle to myself as all of my friends mock me. I hope that is the case.

Go Phillies.

Spring Training Phillies Report: Position Players

Fresh off my annual trip to Philadelphia Phillies Spring Training in Clearwater, Florida, I have returned with some observations that the baseball public might like to be made aware of. I am not a baseball scout, nor am I always separate from my obvious Phillies fandom so take these for what you will. Remember a few things as you read...

1. I only saw 3 games in person.
2. I, just like the rest of you, put a lot of my knowledge and opinion on what the public feeds me. I have tried to abandon these perceptions for this article.
3. I will try my hardest to give you what I believe to be the 100% truth, no fabrications.

Here is my offensive preview based on what I have learned at Spring Training and over the years as a die-hard Phillies fan.

Starting Lineup
Leadoff: Jimmy Rollins - Jimmy's defense appears to be as strong as ever. With a proclamation that he intends on stealing 50 bases this year, it would certainly help if the catalyst took some more pitches. Having a more prototypical two-hole batsman behind him (we will touch on this in a moment) should give Jimmy the confidence to take some pressure off of himself. A leadoff single is as good as a walk, just as a screaming liner that is snared by a glove is still an out. Keeping in mind that spring training games are for getting swings back, we can only wait until the 2010 campaign commences to see if Jimmy changes his approach at the plate. For one thing though, there is no way Jimmy repeats that horrendous first half of 2009.

Two-Hole: Placido Polanco - Lake Placido returns to Citizens Bank Park after a 4 and-a-half year absence. Polanco doesn't need time to adjust to the raucous and demanding atmosphere at The Bank, seeing as he spent parts of 3 years here. Offensively, the Phils need Polanco to keep doing what he has been doing since he became a regular for the Cardinals back in 2000; make contact, don't strike out, move the runner over, come up with some timely hits. All in all - keep the lineup moving. Polanco doesn't need to be an all-star for this team to consistently win. While Polly may not launch as many homers as his predecessor, Pedro Feliz did, his ability to "give himself up" will help the Phillies with something that they have consistently struggled with over the past few years; the old baseball colloquium known as, "small ball." With mashers at the plate up and down the order, the Phils sometimes get a little too happy. This sort of happy isn't necessarily a good thing. Pull happy, home run happy, power happy - they all add up to the same thing - all or nothing. Runs or strikeouts. With Polanco, expect more runners being moved from first to third and across home plate.

Defensively, I have my concerns with Placido. As anyone who has watched the Phillies over the past couple of years has seen, Pedo Feliz has been as defensively sound as they come. Polanco has been as good as you can be at second base, winning 2 Gold Glove awards in the past 3 years. The move to third, however, comes with less reaction time, more balls hit your way, and a longer throw to do it all in. Now it's not like Polanco hasn't played third before, but he was never a gold-glover at the position. On the surface there will be no statistical changes between Feliz and Polanco - Polanco's glove will be just as consistent. The throw is where the newbie may encounter some problems. I'd expect a few more infield singles attributed to our new third baseman.

My predicted verdict? Good signing. Polanco will pick it all up eventually and the textbook precision with which he approaches every at bat will help the Phils atop the National League Runs Scored.

Three-Hole: Chase Utley - The greatest second baseman in baseball shouldn't experience any setbacks. If there is anyone who can be expected to bounce back or fix a mistake, it is Chase Cameron Utley. After some ugly defensive mishaps in the NLCS last year, Chase was able to move on quicker than anybody as evidenced by his record-tying World Series performance. His 5 homers in one World Series tied him with Mr. October himself, Reggie Jackson. With a more reliable bench and with a team favored to win basically every game they play, Utley should see a few more days off this summer. Charlie Manuel has stated that he knows the special team he has and he doesn't want to put it in jeopardy by overusing anyone. That said, it's hard to sit down a competitor like Chase because with it go a chance for another amazing hit or perfectly demonstrated base running. Also, the Phillies don't have the most able middle-infielder to back him up. Barring injury, Chase should expect to sit just a handful more games than he has in the past. I'd also expect Chase to cut down on the right field bombs as he makes an effort to spread the field with his bat, thus making the infield play him normally and without the popular as ever shift.

Cleanup: Ryan Howard - If there ever was an unappreciated athlete in Philadelphia, it's Ryan Howard, not Donovan McNabb. We Philadelphians sometimes take for granted that we have the single most powerful hitter in the game. Heck, he may be the most powerful hitter of the past few decades if not for performance enhancing drugs. The questions with Howard as always: Will he cut down on his strikeouts? Will he erase all talk of slow starts with another impressive April? Will he ever come close to his mammoth sophomore season again (.313 average, 58 homers, 149 RBI)? The answer to the last question - it doesn't matter. The Phils don't need Howard to set records year after year, so long as he continues to do what he has done. It is not a question of MVPs, but rather a question of seizing the moment as Ryan showed us so often last October.

The Protection: Jayson Werth - The beard, yeah, I know. Don't say I didn't acknowledge it. As for the contract situation, we will cross that bridge when we get to it. For the moment, expect an even better season out of this athlete. Near the top of the pack in every power category, with speed and excellent fielding in right. The only thing that can slow Werth down is injuries, something he has had plenty of in the past. Barring injuries, Werth has the power to improve upon the 36 homers and 99 ribbies he blasted last year.

Sixth: Raul Ibanez - I would not expect a first half like Ibanez put up last year. If we are treated to half of that we will be lucky. Not only is Raul 37 years old, but he is coming off the longest season of his career. Not to mention, he practically carried the Phillies on his back for a month or so last year. With a full year of Ben Francisco and other bench additions, I would expect Rauuuuuuul to play in about the same number of games as last year, with no injuries. He probably won't match the excitement that he created in his MVP-caliber first half last year, but he will still be more consistent than Pat Burrell. Also, remember this: we counted on Pat the Bat to protect Ryan Howard. Ibanez, his replacement, is protecting the guy that is protecting Ryan Howard. Just some food for thought.

Seventh Heaven: Shane Victorino - Well my grandmother will be a little unhappy when she doesn't get to see Shane's excitable personality in the first inning every single game, but she will experience the continued happiness of Phillies winning. Shane's "demotion" to the seventh spot in the order is anything but that. As one of Major League Baseballs most beloved players, Shane's off-the-wall playing style did him well hitting right behind JImmy Rollins. In pure baseball terms though, Shane is much more suited to be somewhat out of the way. As a free swinger and free spirit, Shane's playing style sometimes didn't take the Phillies exactly where they needed to go. Because of Shane's penchant for swinging the bat and doing everything he can as fast as he can, he wasn't the best player in situational baseball. Sure, he has been a clutch hitter, as we have seen in the playoffs for the past two years. Shane will breathe life into the bottom third of a batting order that pretty much lacked anything unexpected for the past two years. With Pedro Feliz and Carlos Ruiz, teams knew exactly what they were going to get. Not much power, no speed, not a lot of opposite field hitting. Replace Feliz with Victorino and you have a singles hitter that can hit for the same, if not more, power, steal bases and create some excitement while the team waits for Jimmy to start things off again.

Eighth: Carlos Ruiz - Last October, America was treated to a small slice of knowledge that even very few Philadelphians know: Carlos Ruiz is a winner. Ruiz has a knack for getting that big hit when the other team thinks it has the next two batters off. With catalyst number 2 hitting in front of him (Victorino), Ruiz will be granted a lot more chances to showcase his abilities. One question that everyone should be asking themselves is how often Ruiz will be spelled of his catching duties. Will new backup, Brian Schneider, handle an individual pitcher such as Roy Halladay, or will the Ruiz-Schneider tandem be able to work with any pitcher on the Phillies Roster?

Bench: Brian Schneider - Veteren on his third NL East team. Should be an improvement over Coste/Bako.
Ross Gload - a 33 year old with barely any mileage on him. Solid starter for the Royals in '08. Should be another Greg Dobbs of '08 (although asking Gload to lead the league in pinch hitting in back-to-back years is a lot to ask for).
Greg Dobbs - Based on what I've seen in Florida, Dobbs is looking healthy. I saw him hit three balls hard, all went for extra bases, all were to the opposite field. It's unclear if Dobbs will be prone to overuse because of his injuries last year, but expect a bounce back season.
Juan Castro - I would have personally kept Eric Bruntlett over this 37-year-old journeyman, but I guess it's hard to justify keeping a .171 hitter, even if he DID score the winning run of the 2008 World Series. Just sayin'. Castro should be the last option off the bench to pinch hit (other than the second catcher). If an infielder goes down for an extended period of time, it would probably be unwise to use Castro and expect to keep the same production up. I'm not expecting a lot out of him.
Ben Francisco - Ben could start for just about half the teams in baseball, so it is essential that he stays productive with the Phils. As the most important man off the bench, keeping Francisco in game-shape and prepared will be key for the Phils if they expect some consistency out of their 4th outfielder. He will be given more starts in left this year to give Raul Ibanez a break.


Overall, expect a banner year from the boys of summer both on the offensive and defensive side. The bench should be better, which can only help an aging Raul Ibanez. That is all for now my friends, check back in soon for my Pitching Report. Also, check the new poll and feel free to leave comments on facebook, email, or the blog itself.

How the Mighty Have Fallen

NBA All-Star Weekend is for dunk contests, behind the back passes and putting on a show. This weekend highlights the world's most athletic men and their ability to even soar over one another. That is NBA All-Star Weekend. Every other NBA game should always be business.

As a die-hard sports fan, I try to watch as many sporting competitions as possible. For the past 8 days and for the next 7 I have become Team America's biggest supporter. From snowboarding, a personal hobby of mine, to curling, to even watching Johnny Weir blow two-fingered kisses to his disturbed, yet somewhat amazed crowd, the Olympics have been tons of fun. It's sports. That word, sports" is all that is needed to draw me in. Unless Goodfellas or Transformers are on an HD channel, it's sports all day, every day. So when my favorite basketball player, DeJuan Blair, came to town with the San Antonio Spurs to face my 76ers, I decided that I had to be there. Putting aside the hustle, power and rebounding dominance that Blair shows on the court, it's going to take a lot for me to go to another 76ers game in the near future. What I experienced on Friday, February 19, 2010 deeply saddened me.

The pre-game warmups for the all-world Spurs included layup drills, catch-and-shoots and rebounding drills. The 76ers though, instead decided to wow the half-full arena with the worst preparation I have ever had the misfortune to watch. Andre Iguodala, the Sixers franchise player, the 80 million dollar man, warmed up by throwing himself alley-oops off the backboard. Rodney Carney (so nice we had to sign him twice) threw down windmills reminiscent of a street-baller. "Slammin" Sammy Dalembert missed a dunk and proceeded to follow up his rebound by air-balling a fadeaway 10-foot jumper. The dichotomy between these two shoot-arounds was really all one would need to know about the state of each franchise.

As a little history lesson, here are some surprising facts about the NBA:

-Just 13 out of 30 current franchises have won a Larry O'Brien Trophy (The NBA's lame championship trophy)

-Just 8 of those 13 teams have won multiple Championships. 8 out of 30 teams. The 76ers are one of them. So are the Spurs.

The Philadelphia 76ers aren't just another franchise searching for an NBA identity. No matter how many Conference Finals the Nuggets or Cavaliers make, they do not have the hardware. There are plenty of teams with continued regular season success such as the Suns or Jazz, but they have repeatedly failed to seal the deal. In a league that is disguisedly dominated by a few teams, it is easy to forget that the Sixers were once a proud member of the select few successful NBA teams.

Attending the Sixers-Spurs game on Friday night truly opened my eyes to what has frankly become a breeding ground of bedlam. The nonstop circus routine that lasts from before tip-off until Willie Green's last contested three is sickening and extremely tiring. Blaring rap music with the heaviest bass imaginable invades my ears and blocks any coherent thoughts from formulating in my head. Having a conversation becomes a game, with constant interruptions to allow Sixers PA Announcer, Matt Cord, scream, "Aaaandreee Eeeeg-ah-dala-dala-dala-(dala)-(dala)." Samuel Dalembert's rare 2-point basket becomes a cause for celebration - "Slllaaaaammmin Sammmmy Dal-um-bear." Slammin? Really? Does 7 points per game constitute a nickname such as "slammin?" Let's wait for some new accomplishments before we start lauding a collective group of losers with nicknames.

Hip-Hop, the 76ers obnoxious, ghetto-themed mascot, is constantly in the crowd's face. With a high-pitched whistling noise attached to his mask, you are guaranteed to hear Hip-Hop from almsot anywhere in the stadium. I put up with 5 minutes of the fake-muscled bunny rabbit spraying silly-string at 3 children. What ensued was the entire section smelling like aerosol for the rest of the quarter.

Through this unceasing noise and mayhem are people that just want to watch a good, competitive game of basketball. A middle-aged man sat alone in front of my friend and I pointing at players, shouting instructions, and throwing his hands up in disbelief as Andre Iguodala settled for in-your-face clankers with 15 seconds left on the shot clock. This poor man, he spends money to come and watch professional basketball on a Friday night and is instead treated to a game lacking planning, defense, or strategy.

In short, this isn't basketball. This is a spectacle, something that can be out-done by most minor league hockey teams and almost any competitive high-school sporting event. If the Sixers want to end up like the Phantoms and move to Adirondack, effectively into obscurity, they need only to continue this never-ending circus. Coach Eddie Jordan gets my vote if the organization is looking towards a ringleader to lead a team of clowns.

If a circus is not the Philadelphia 76ers goal, then drawing families out to witness insufferable acts and stunts needs to end today. Putting a team on the floor to win basketball games should be the goal. Winning brings crowds, winning brings revenue - not bunnies on steroids or cranked up PA systems. Just 9 years ago, a time that feels like an eternity, this was a franchise on the rise. With an inspired season and a crushing loss to the Lakers, it seemed like it was only a matter of time before the Sixers recaptured the glory days of old.

The Sixers basketball identity isn't gone, it's just lost.

Week 17 NFL Picks

We have finally arrived at week 17 after a season of terrible teams, dominant teams, mediocre teams, and personal fantasy meltdowns. We have gone from a discussion of a probable Super Bowl matchup between two undefeated teams to unsure of who the favorite from each conference is. The NFL is always exciting and while I poke fun at the league sometimes, at the end of the day it consistently provides storylines and interesting plot twists. Again my beloved Eagles have a meaningful game on the last day of the season, something I don't give Andy Reid and Company all that much credit for. It's been a quick regular season, so without further ado, my last picks of the regular season.

(Home team in CAPS)

Indy over BUFFALO

Here's my question: If you're going to rest your starters at all, why not rest them the whole game? Isn't there just as much chance of a player getting hurt in the 1st quarter as there is in the 4th? If the argument is for the rest and subsequent improved health of your starters, don't play them at all! Other than that, to quote Herm Edwards, "You play, to win, the game."

Jacksonville over CLEVELAND

The Jags need more to happen to get into the playoffs than the Eagles needed last year. I can't imagine two years in a row where three or more teams lose thus propelling an undeserving team into the wildcard round. That being said, Jacksonville still needs to win.

Chicago over DETROIT

Know what Brett Favre said to Jay Cutler in their little fraternity of quarterbacks talk after last weeks upset win over the Vikings? "Jay, I know it feels good to win this game right now. And that's all that matters, that YOU won the game. You made the right choice by leaving Denver on your own terms and throwing interceptions that you thought might be miraculously pulled down by one of your unworthy receivers. It's all about you Jay, the team doesn't matter. Way to go. Wrangler jeans."

San Fran over ST. LOUIS

So is Mike Singletary really that good of a coach? I mean the team didn't make the playoffs in his second year and have juggled starting QB's. Is anyone outside of Missouri and California's Bay area going to watch this game or even remember the outcome?

Pittsburgh over MIAMI

Steelers are getting into the playoffs. It's really not that difficult. Houston will lose to New England. The Jets will lose to Cinci. Steelers become "the team that nobody wants to face" and it's basically all we here about next weeks AFC Wild Card round. Jim Rome, Skip Bayless, Woody Paige - rev up your Steelers engines.

MINNESOTA over NY Giants

Two teams that are as cold as ice. The Giants have nothing to play for except whatever pride they have left from their 2008 Super Bowl team. Shootout ensues, the slightly less cold Vikings prevail.

TAMPA over Hotlanta

Really not much to say on this snoozer.

Naaaahlins over CAROLINA

Should be closer than expected. Is Matt Moore playing solid for the Panthers? By all means, yes. Is he the answer? No.

New England over HOUSTON

Oh Texans. 90% of America picked you as the "surprise" Wild Card team of the year. So many people picked you, in fact, that it was no longer a surprise. You are hanging on by the thinnest of threads. I don't want you getting in though. It would just be boring.

Green Bay over ARIZONA

One of the most interesting match-ups of the final week. Arizona hasn't looked stable for a long period of time this season. The Packers ripped off a 5 game winning streak against a bunch of nobody's. A secret that most football fans have failed to realize - neither of these teams is really that good.

SAN DIEGO over Washington

What is the longest winning streak that a Super Bowl team has had before hoisting the Lombardi Trophy? Might that answer be made irrelevant by the Chargers?

Tennessee over SEATTLE

Well it was fun while it lasted Titans. Sort of like the first 10 minutes of the Temple-Kansas basketball game yesterday.

Baltimore over OAKLAND

Whooooo are you (Ra-vens, Ra-vens), I really wanna know, Whoooooo are you (Ra-vens, Ra-vens)

Eagles over DALLAS

Round 2. Last year the Eagles put on the worst beating in the history of this legendary rivalry. 44-6. Will this years triumph be as one-sided? No, but it will be convincing. The Eagles have historically been made for December and early January, we all know that. We also know the Cowboys' side of the December - early January story. The real question is: does this win propel the winner onto greater things?

Kansas City over DENVER

After watching the Eagles-Broncos game last week, I realized that the Broncos entire offensive game plan goes through Brandon Marshall. He had about 13 targets and 8 catches, dropping the other 5 balls because he was scared of Sheldon Brown laying the smacketh down on him. Denver can only hope that the Chiefs hand them countless turnovers or this one could look mighty similar to Broncos fans.

Cinci over NY JETS

Lots of field goals in this one, the trademark for the Bengals. Which is also why they will lose in the first round of the playoffs.

Season: 157 - 80

**Check out the New Poll**