Hectic Thoughts from Finals Week and the First Days of Summer

Here is an incoherent post put together over the past week - finals and now the sweet taste of summer.

- Mel Kiper Jr. has become a cross between Wolverine and John Travolta. The hair just seems to grow "bigger" and more poofy, while his mouth is somewhere around the Rosie O'Donnell level. He needs to take some Tylenol PM before every argument with Todd McShay.

- Speaking of Kiper and McShay, thank the lord that the NFL draft is over. Every year I wish there was more on ESPN about the NHL playoffs and less on the draft. There has been exactly one hyped player that is any good in the past few years: Matt Ryan. Reggie Bush, Matt Leinart, Vince Young, Alex Smith all stink. There are a few great ones out there, but most of the time the analysts miss them. I would like all of the time back in my life for watching PTI talk about Reggie Bush. And I would like to make a prediction and another plea for my wasted time back - Mark Sanchez and Matthew Stafford will both stink. I think Stafford will be worse than Sanchez because 1. He is playing for a horrible organization that drafts offensive players such as Calvin Johnson and Brandon Pettigrew to "protect their franchise QB" instead of the actual protection - an offensive line and 2. Have you seen the Lions "new" logo? They sketched in an additional 7 lines to make it look, ah... fiercer? I'm predicting another miserable season, albeit not 0-16 if that is where team management thinks this bunch needs the most work. New logo and new quarterback = 2-14. 

- On the other hand, this draft has the potential to be the best ever for the Andy Reid era. Drafting two playmakers in the first two rounds? One of which I was schoolmate of, no, sophomore with, no, um... watched on the football field for Pitt. Shady McCoy is the real deal, a replica of Westbrook and not even the image of a snarling Drew Rosenhaus standing beside him as he donned his Eagles hat for the first time could sour my day. What could sour my day however was...

- The Flyers stinking up the ice. Although I must admit (and shove in everyone's face) that I was no where near surprised. Shocked by the turn of events during the game? Yes. Surprised, no. I have maintained since the all-star break that this team is merely a collection of talent with no team aspects. Jeff Carter hasn't played defense since February, Mike Richards has been so obviously hurt, Joffrey Lupol has disappeared, Danny Briere - well I won't get started on him. I don't think I have ever seen such talent translate into a such a mediocre team. Last year we suffered a 10 game losing streak and still managed 97 points. This year? A team coming off a Conference Finals run with six 25 goal scorers and much more steady goaltending managed just 99 points, 2 more than the year before. For the past two years I have given Marty Biron a hard time and I am now at peace with him. Of all the goalies on the free agent market, he is the one that makes our team the best. My targets in the offseason are...

- Get rid of Joffrey Lupol

- Make it so I never have to hear the words "Flyers" and "Randy Jones" in the same sentence again.

- I know they won't do this now, but fire John Stevens. I don't think he is a bad coach but he is in no way the coach for this team. We need a mean coach to go along with our mean style of play. Some may say that it is hard to argue that a 99 point season is a disappointment, but I've never seen a worse "good" season from the orange and black.

- It used to be that the other organizations were compared to the Flyers. When the Phillies, Eagles, or Sixers lost, people said, "can't they learn anything from the Flyers?" They most competitive team, constantly signing the biggest stars... are now being compared to the Phillies. After the elimination I wondered aloud, "Haven't they learned anything from the Phillies? Any of their heart?" Looks like we have officially passed into another realm...

- WIP smartly pointed out that this draft could not have come on a better day. Any time the Flyers are eliminated from the playoffs the city is in a pretty bad mood. Luckily Jeremy Maclin was picked 10 minutes later and Shady a few hours after that. Mix in a Phillies 9th inning comeback and it turned out to be not such a bad sports day. I'm not completely over the Flyers...

- My Flyers playoff beard is still holding up pretty strong. 3 weeks and counting and I just can't let it go. The players shaved theirs after the game. Eventually...

Moving on...

- As pointed out by my cousin, Raul Ibanez does share a striking resemblance Harry's archnemisis and everyone's favorite dark lord. As long as he keeps playing like he wants to take over baseball, I'm fine with any spell he is doing (as long as steroids is not involved).

- Jimmy Rollins predicted a .400 month for his batting average in the next month. Last time he predicted this he went on what would be the start of a 38 game hitting streak while batting over .400. Thanks to Philly.com for this - not my original idea. Just want to let it be known.

- Theo Ratliff is averaging almost 18 minutes per game in the playoffs. The man formerly known as "the expiring contract" has been a better defender and a better player on the court than "Slammy" Dalembert who is making 10 times as much. But hey, on the bright side, they are both much more productive than Elton Brand, who is making more than both of them combined.

- I am now embarrassed to be associated with Lenny Dykstra. The man is millions of dollars in debt, bought Wayne Gretzky's house for 18.5 million, can't sell it, and claims that everyone owes him money. In reality he owes everyone money and has 24 lawsuits filed against him. It's not light reading but it's worth knowing who represents your franchise.

- OMG! The Marlins lost 7 games in a row! They are suddenly no longer ESPN's main story, on the ESPN "slash" commercials, and everyone's pick to win the World Series. Apparently two weeks of baseball in April really isn't enough time to judge your contenders from your pretenders. Who woulda' thunk it?

- An argument about Cole Hamels. Is he a pussy? No. Is he a 24-year-old kid from California? Yes. He emulates diva in the same way that Peter Forsberg did. He is a little hurt and comes out of games. Hamels, however, put the team on his back and won the World Series for Philadelphia. Forsberg ate our money and moved the Flyers towards their worst season in franchise history. Right now Hamels is just going through a string of bad luck. I'd rather the Phillies take him out of these games and leave it up to the bullpen. In the end - it saves Hamels' arm for later in the season when many pitchers burn out.

- I have played 1 and a half full seasons of Tiger Woods Golf and have made exactly 2 cuts. Hooray for video game expertise.

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Catch you on the flip side.