Thought I had faded into Bolivian? Never fear Mike Tyson and friends, I have simply been working hard during the day and watching way too much television at night. I know how much all of you have missed my bumbling and off-the-track thoughts on sports so I will again lazily provide you with a bullet point formatted listing of the recent goings on.
-Kobe Bryant has finally captured that elusive Shaq-less NBA title. I rooted very hard against him, as I remain bitter that he has basically destroyed the early 2000's "Iverson or Kobe?" argument. Barring a late career jump from Iverson winning a few Championships, the argument will remain in Kobe's favor and will continue to be "Kobe or LeBron?" I'm pulling for LeBron. Although, I was satisfied with Kobe's awkward interview on Conan a few nights after the '09 season concluded. His track suit and knack for trying to be too 'hood made me smile.
-The Pittsburgh Penguins won the Stanley Cup months after they were not even a surefire bet to make the playoffs. While I did not want to see the Red Wings get engraved onto Lord Stanley's for the dozenth time, I would have rather had them suck the life out of Sidney Crosby and his Pens repeatedly. The only solace I could take in the Penguins victory was at least it was in Detroit where the eighteen thousand fans could only stare at the ice in silence as the Penguins had no audience to feed off of while taking mini-laps with the trophy in front of a camera.
-Is it just me, or did this NBA finals paired with the NHL's Stanley Cup make you realize how lame the NBA Championship trophy is? Even compared to the Super Bowl and the World Series, I just feel that the NBA trophy is somewhat anti-climactic. Can't explain it.
-Up until yesterday the Phillies had lost 8 of 9 and 11 of 13. All the while I remained relatively calm, texting my friends who had bombarded me with misery and loss of faith. Most seem to have given up the season as a lost cause. I would think that the true mark of a good team is where they stand when the going gets rough. It can't get much rougher than losing 11 out of 13, and all the while the Phillies remained in first place. A Yankee sweep over the Mets tonight would put the Fightin's 2.5 up despite the fact that they have only managed to win one series out of the last five. Pessimists may remind you that we can only thank the competition for beating down the Mets, Braves, Marlins, and the lowly Nationals but let me remind you, you can only play the cards you are dealt. It doesn't matter how bad the Phillies play if the Mets and everyone else in the NL East continue to play even worse.
-Also, Raul Ibanez was put on the DL, Brad Lidge joined him, as well as Scott Eyre and Clay Condrey. Ryan Howard had a 104 degree fever, Brett Myers was lost for the season, our fifth starter is Antonio Bastardo who was not even drafted. Things can only get better as Lidge notched a one-run save today and Ibanez is set to comeback against the Mets (could there be any better timing?).
-The Flyers traded for Chris Pronger, a "puck clearing defenseman" as defenders of his size have come to be known. He will give us at least 40 points and should team up nicely with Timonen and Coburn to protect the puck in front of the net while Ray Emery ponders which Flyers coach to punch after the game and on which highway he will hit 130 mph. Paul Holmgren mortgaged the future of the Flyers with this move and the only way he will not take a huge bashing is if the Flyers can return the Cup to Philly and tie up the Cup race with the hated Penguins. 2 first round picks, a 25 goal scorer and a promising defensive star is too much to give up for an aging defenseman with one year left on his contract. On a COMPLETELY unrelated note, Jay Boumeester was had for a third round pick and below average free agent Jordan Leopold. Does that make any sense? No? Didn't think so.
-Never pieced together that McNabb's touchdown celebration dance moves were a tribute to His Popness. Five reminded us that his leg kicks and attempted moon walks were meant to impersonate the Prince of Plastic, the Sultan of Race Changing, the Master of Molesting, and the Colossus of Crotch-Grabbing. Michael Jackson, if you couldn't get the Babe Ruthian hints (to all of my Sandlot junkies out there, I solute you).
-Brett Favre: you win. I will write nothing about you in this post. Just know that you win. Now go home, chew some tobacco, and fish. And for God's sake please leave us the hell alone.
-How is sports gambling actually supposed to be illegal when the newspapers publish the lines for every game?
-Who caught the moment when Fox picked out a black man in the stands of the Phillies-Yankees game back in May and promptly decided that he must be John Mayberry Sr. Any idea if Fox got in trouble for this bit of hilarity?
-I used DVR for sports for the first time. I managed to record the entire Monday of the U.S. Open and stayed away from the results (phone, computer, told people not to talk about it) and experienced the (lack of) thrill of seeing Lucas Glover win the silver trophy. Phil Mickelson, you truly have taken choking to a new level. Oh, and Tiger Woods apparently stinks at putting.
-Sticking with the Country Club sports, I enjoy how ESPN continues to compare Tiger with Roger Federer as if the argument held any actual validity. One plays golf while the other plays tennis. Just because they both dominate their respective fields has nothing to do with each other. Except for the fact that America is only interested in watching dominance in two sports that are basically off the map.
-The second half of the Confederation Cup today was a rude reminder as to why America has not embraced soccer. It was as if they fielded the U.S. team from 1984-2008 Philadelphia or a pre 2004 Red Sox team. On Bill Simmons' "levels of losing", this has to be up there. Hopefully the nation does not accept the defeat of soccer as easily as the U.S. accepted 45 minutes of Brazilian offensive occupation in the second half. Brutal, just brutal.
-I currently am at a streak of 1 for ESPN's Streak for Cash.
-I visited a sports card and memorabilia show yesterday for the first time in seven years. Hoping that my childhood passion would ignite again, I was sorely disappointed, as were my cousin and uncle. The 10 cent card boxes just aren't appealing anymore. Check back with me in another seven years and maybe I will have had a change of heart.
-How did Dejuan Blair fall so far in the draft? Is it even conceivable that a team would rather have an unknown entity from the Congo than a player that, as Jay Bilas so eloquently put it, "beasted" Hasheem Thabeet (pick number 2)? Blair should put the Spurs back into title contention, as they have also added Richard Jefferson to make a formidable bunch of weapons.
-Not much to say on the Jrue Holiday draft pick by the Seventy Suxers (clever I know), other than on paper it is utterly, completely, visibly, obviously, totally moronic and wrong. But what else can we expect of a franchise that has time and again proved to be inept with running a basketball team? So when it comes down to it, it wouldn't make sense for the Sixers to pick the proven winner in Ty Lawson.
-Is it possible that Ricky Rubio and his agent can be even more greasy than RickRubs hair?
-David Akers was recently named the 17th most underrated player in the NFL. Does that make you feel better?
-Me neither.
-My first trip to Citi Field with my dad resulted in a 5-4 11-inning victory. My dad also enjoyed a personal victory when I pointed out that the drunk [expletive]...err girl who had forcefully tried to remove him from a seat that wasn't even hers was being ticketed for underage drinking in the eating area. He walked up to her, pointed at her and laughed and when she asked what he was laughing at, he of course said "you" and continued to double over in laughter.
There it is, sports as I know it over the past two months. I am sure that I have not accounted for a thousandth of what I should have written about (Manny Ramirez, Manny Ramirez, and Manny Ramirez) but have no fear. I shall be back.
**Check out the new poll**
Posts
